The kind of mother I would like to be (and not be)

tipo de mãe kind of mother

I would really like to give my children good moments. So much, that I wonder whether I would have to be a different person to be the kind of mother I would like to be.

I don’t say “give moments” in the “women’s magazine/quality time rules/#lookatmegivingmoments” sense.

What I mean is that I think about this a lot. We play and we are there every day. We love them. But there are moments in which parents must choose what they’ll expose their children to. Reminds me of a sentence that I read somewhere:

The role of parents is to give their children wings and roots.

The kind of mother I would like to be

I would like to be one of those mothers who go the market. And buy the fish that is then cooked in family for lunch. It’s just that I never went to the market in 30 years. And everything I’ve cooked in the oven ends up too well done.

And I would like to be one of those mother who rides her bike by the river. Even though I don’t know if I can still ride a bike. They say you never forget, but I don’t really buy it.

I would like to be one of those mothers who takes them to the swimming lessons. And while they’re there, does an aerobics class. Or whatever it is fit mums do. But even pre-children I rarely went to the gym.

I would like to do a tour of Portugal’s castles and to go the regional fairs and local markets.

I would like to have all the shopping and waxing out of the way. And leave the weekends just to play. I would like to read a story at bedtime.

I would like to go to the beach in April or October. If there was one of those too-sunny weekends.

I would like to go to Christmas concerts. And buy chestnuts on the street, watch the Christmas lights. But only if they are really colourful and Christmas-y. If it’s those neon blueish ones, with neutral symbols not to offend anyone, we’ll stay home. Bake cookies.

I wish there was music and we all tried to play it.

It would be fun to play board games. Do they still make them? And to have more rituals like “Friday night is movie and pizza night”.

I would like to do all that, but I don’t know if I’ll be lazy about it.

What I wouldn’t like

What I wouldn’t like is to spend the weekends in shopping malls. And that the children started celebrating Halloween and Valentine’s Day. Just because it seems so nonsense and strictly-commercial for a Portuguese family.

I wouldn’t like to go to restaurants and to have to give them a tablet. Just so I could finish my risotto in peace.

I don’t want to split the weekend amongst dozens of kids’ birthday parties in warehouses wherever. So I think we’ll need to set rules. They’ll go to their bestfriends’ parties, but they don’t have to go to a party for each member of their class.

I wouldn’t like it if we went to bed late, ending up wasting the morning or sacrificing sleep. I wouldn’t like that they said “pffffff I have nothing to do”.

Ideal world

In the ideal world, these moments wouldn’t be just during the weekend. I would have the flexibility to marry time and intention.

Oh well, this is what I feel right now. Who knows the kind of mother I’ll want to be in a few months?

E a menina?

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