Carolina Patrocínio and Kate Middleton: why all the drama?

Kate Middleton Carolina Patrocínio

Do you know Einstein’s definition of craziness which is doing always the same and still expect different results? It’s kind of like that the way in which we all have been reacting to the extraordinary just-right-after-only-few-hours-post-partum of Carolina Patrocínio and Kate Middleton.

Carolina Patrocínio was a mother and in the photographs taken at the hospital or leaving she looked just like she has always looked. And how many times have I heard over the last few weeks women repeating “Seven hours afterwards?! Seven hours later and she looks like that? In heels?” concerning Kate Middleton. And each one is on the third child.

How are there outraged women? Has someone imagined that Carolina Patrocínio would start displaying the cellulite she never had after the baby was born? Or that Kate would leave the maternity looking disheveled or carrying many bags?

This two new mums are professionals. Besides being, in all probability, genetically lucky. But there are a few issues which we should bear in mind before starting to mentally call them names.

It’s all relative 

Yes, Kate did look better in her red dress and heels than me in the last wedding we attended. But you could still spot the day-after-belly. She was perfect when compared to me, but “imperfect” when compared to her best. It adds up. Her uterus also has its timings.

Living of your appearance

Each one in her own way, but these women’s lives are largely dependent on their appearance. If I knew there would be a troupe of paparazzi outside the maternity, I probably would have applied some makeup. If I had 18% body fat I wouldn’t look so bloated. As we used to say in school, if my grandmother had wheels, she would be a bike.

Work out like Carolina Patrocínio

I follow her on Instagram so I know. She works out harder in a week than I did the entire last year. She does cardio and non-cardio, rain or shine, pregnant or not. She writes books about it. She applies a remarkable discipline which gets results. She had just a tiny belly and otherwise you could barely tell she was pregnant. After that, the only thing that happened was that the baby came out.

Having Kate Middleton’s team

Being rich or part of the royal family entitles you to have a team: hairdressers, makeup artists, stylists, personal trainers, nutritionists and maybe even a chef. The job of this experts is to make sure the public appearances, specially the more notorious ones, are prepared with time and detail. Do you have any idea of the look which one of us would have if a small company existed just to make us look good?


I know, I know. No, me neither. It’s OK… It’s OK. If any of them has another child, I think it’s better we all start to anticipate right away another epic comeback. E a menina?

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